Please spare a prayer or send some positive vibes out like you have so often done to help me on this rugged journey.
I am at UCDMC hospital prepping for an emergency surgery tomorrow morning. Today’s routine CT scan showed another collapsed vertebra, likely caused by a sneaky tumor (and likely the cause of the pain I haven’t been able to control in the last two months).
As a mom I now understand 1000% that I’d prefer this pain and trouble to be mine and not Sid’s. But I’m only human, and I’m my mom & dad’s baby girl, so I’ll always need hugs and snuggles. And damnit I’d take a little break once in awhile too!
Sid is sleeping soundly with his papa. And I’ll get to see him soon.
Two months ago our lives changed in the most profound way. Holding Sidney for the first time and every time to follow redefined love.
Today Sid is such a happy, healthy, strong, big boy. He loves baths, being swaddled, going for walks or car rides, and he is a good sleeper. We are so fortunate. David is a phenomenal father and my Mom is the most helpful, generous, loving, energetic person on the planet.
In these past two months I have been hit with something I never expected. I am struggling through the worst period of anxiety and depression I have every had – my beautiful but ever-challenging life flashed before me when I experienced the love for my very own child – and my normally positive, hopeful side just crumbled. Very slowly but surely I am trying to pick up the pieces, to regain physical and mental strength.
I have a long way yet. I am ever grateful for the chance I have had to share my stories with you here and I hope to get back to it.
Having a nap on week 6 birthday. Thank goodness for Grandma & Grandpa and others who are helping us out. Now mama is going to go nap. xoxo
I’m at a bit of a loss for words perhaps because of: 1) tiredness; 2) being in love with Sidney; and/or 3) something to do with sleepiness.
David and I agree that “Sid tired” is different from “cancer tired”. It’s a way better kind of tired.
And so far we are all relatively well fed, cleaned and…well that feels like success for the first 10 days!!!
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Today was the final ultrasound look into Sharon’s wonderful womb. “Little” Sidney David is an active guy, ready to join the outside world but apparently enjoying the last few days of tropical weather indoors.
Sutter Davis Birthing Center, here we come…this Friday morning!
Tuesday’s final OB appointment. Meet you on the outside this Friday at 9am!
XOXO Clare & the Wiley Boys
Four years ago today seven little embryos were frozen in hopes that more Long/Wiley genes would someday make an entrance into our world! One little dude survived the frozen tundra, the warm tropical thaw and the cozy oven-baking. He’s almost ready!
A very excited mama-to-be
Last weekend we celebrated Grandma in San Diego. It was wonderful, sad, fun, funny, emotional.
This week I get caught up on doctor appointments. Big babe Sidney is growing and kickin and moving like a champ. On my end it’s been almost five weeks since my lung surgery & each day I feel a little better. I am still tired and sore but kickin and moving, trying to be a champ (David is my champ, keeping me from falling apart each night).
I’m typing this post from the UCD Cancer Center. Today I am getting my port catheter flushed (a simple procedure that has to be done every five weeks). This place is great but it is TOO BUSY! Lots of people alive & looking pretty good but it still sucks to see a crowded cancer center.
(The view from the chair/bench in the infusion room waiting area).
Thanks always for your thoughts, prayers, love.